Other side.

When looking through a window everything seems so perfect, until you notice the sky turning gray or litter on the floor, and that view doesn't seem so perfect anymore. The happy feeling that you felt, you wanting to be one of those people walking by, feeling free. Wanting to the person on the other side of the window, with someone looking at you wishing they could be you. But no your trapped, trapped in an empty room, with four walls and a window and all you can do is look out of it and wish and hope you could be on the other side.

One to Ten.

You start at 1, then you get to like 7 and then get knocked back down to one again. why create a 10 if there is no possible way to reach it. Then there is always the view not to let you be knocked back down to 1. but how is that possible, there is always going to be something or someone knocking people down. i believe people have occupations in doing this. they actually get paid to just knock people down, once they reach like 7 - 8.
but then do you give up, and just stay at 1, or do you try agian, knowing that you may never see 10. Knowing that life, has losed of people paid to knock you back down to 10. mmm.

Mayb i'm just going crazy again lol. i seem to do that alot.

I haven't written something in a while, i believe i need to get my throughts clear and in order.
But i feel a new me is in order. I have a great boyfriend, and life seems to be only looking up form here.
Maybe a make over is in order, change of hair, maybe dye it...i just feel to start a fresh. feel fresh. Maybe you could give me your opinion...i just feell old and boring at the morning. i need to grow up, feel better.

2:38 in the morning.

How can a simple joke, change your emotions completly. Make you feel ugly, and pathetic. Make you doubt everything that you have been told, and felt. Make you doubt the person and there true meanings. Why does it hurt so much? Could it be because you your feelings for this person are true.

I have had the same song on repeat for about 4-5 hours now, and i still don't feel better. I feel the most unbeautiful than i have every felt in my life, not that i have ever felt beautiful. When have you actually felt beautiful, or been called it, and believed it?

Emotions.

A child was born

A child was born
But no one knows about it
Like an alien this child was
A birth that had never been recorded.
Exterminated at birth
Heart evacuated rejected
A Rainbow with no colours
Walking through skies as lifeless as a corpse
To find liberty I treasure
Her hands and feet decayed
As she crawls bruising her corrupted knees
Her phobias and polluted skin can’t wipe away
Harmonizing a tune to keep her comfort
Wishing I was a home for her to launch her knew life
Head filled with demoralization
Like an asylum sentenced to death.
Between learning how to read and write and taking care of herself
Knowing life isn’t easy
So she picks up her sprit and reconstructs her heart
Stripping of the old layer and seeing a new one
Not feeling bitter inside anymore
She still looks for the prize, never found retracing her steps so it could be drawn back
Things like that, without a source
Could never be found
Always hiding the burrow in her heart
Life was so unfurnished back then
How does she restore and heart so narrow
If not by love, then in hurt
Let her be the truth
Let’s not tell a lie
Like her unloved heart
A child was born
But no one knows about it.

I wrote this poem ages ago, but at the moment i'm going through a mood of mixed emotions, not really sure whats up or down at the moment. feeling kind of forgotten about. But then the reason for thi sudden emotion i don't know, why all of a sudden, i feel used and abandon. oh well, ill get over it i hope.

You will probably not understnad this blog, but your not ment to, your just ment to listen.
　

People today

Okay, now i've just been on facebook and like that picture of that guy bowcatting that girl is like all over facebook, and yeah its funny and in a way its wrong to be published on facebook like that, like what you do in your own time is your business. but what i dont understand is the deal people are making over.

Why do people blow sex and oral sex completly out of portion. Like this country and the attitudes of people is just a joke. So its something out of the social norm and everything becomes taboo. I don't understand how people live it this box, not expressing them selfs and being themselfs. Following this stucture so you don't seem different. Last time i checked being different was a good thing, being yourself was a good thing. Sticking to the sturcture of what everyone else wants you to be, is not going to make you a leader, its not going to help you in life. Be a leader not a bloody sheep.

But anyway back to the picture. The guy is pleasing his girlfriend (or whatever the chick is to him), explain to me why everyone is getting so excited over it. Like you haven't seen porn or you have never heard of the words oral sex before. Your not stupid. No one is telling you to go do it yourself. And another thing, half of them boys cussing the guy, do it themself but they are too scared to admit it cause of what people might say, but keep it up cause there is a thing called karma, and when a girl does that to you, it will be a different story. The guy is not getting ratings cause he is bowcating the girl, but if he was having sex with her, all you gus would be giving him ratings how funny, and if the girl was giving him head you would be giving he rating hahahahaha.
People really make me laugh.

I just don't understand why sex, is blown so out of portion, and all these names people get called, because they have it. it just scary to know how many close minded people there are in the world. But i had to wirte this blog cause, i actually feel sorry for the guy.

Im Back.

Back to blogging, writing down whats on my mind, and my birds eye view of the world. How fun :)
So i guess i should start of with introducing myself again, I'm the wierd crazy kid, and i'm happy being that way.
I've just turned 17 about month ago, wait we still in july aren't we :S well ruffly a month ago.
I'm his devotee <3 .
My life i could say is almost on the standard of great, but i still a job is required, so i can get that monthly income.

Reading my blogs you will never properly understand me, but you might be able to relate to certain topics, subjects and emotions that i put forward. Me writing this is a way to express what, maybe only makes sense through writing. Words can create such art and beauty, and create a comfort for a person. So keep following and reading, i hope you like.

"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music." - Aldous Huxley

AshaPatrice; xoxo