2:38 in the morning.

How can a simple joke, change your emotions completly. Make you feel ugly, and pathetic. Make you doubt everything that you have been told, and felt. Make you doubt the person and there true meanings. Why does it hurt so much? Could it be because you your feelings for this person are true.

I have had the same song on repeat for about 4-5 hours now, and i still don't feel better. I feel the most unbeautiful than i have every felt in my life, not that i have ever felt beautiful. When have you actually felt beautiful, or been called it, and believed it?

Emotions.

A child was born

A child was born
But no one knows about it
Like an alien this child was
A birth that had never been recorded.
Exterminated at birth
Heart evacuated rejected
A Rainbow with no colours
Walking through skies as lifeless as a corpse
To find liberty I treasure
Her hands and feet decayed
As she crawls bruising her corrupted knees
Her phobias and polluted skin can’t wipe away
Harmonizing a tune to keep her comfort
Wishing I was a home for her to launch her knew life
Head filled with demoralization
Like an asylum sentenced to death.
Between learning how to read and write and taking care of herself
Knowing life isn’t easy
So she picks up her sprit and reconstructs her heart
Stripping of the old layer and seeing a new one
Not feeling bitter inside anymore
She still looks for the prize, never found retracing her steps so it could be drawn back
Things like that, without a source
Could never be found
Always hiding the burrow in her heart
Life was so unfurnished back then
How does she restore and heart so narrow
If not by love, then in hurt
Let her be the truth
Let’s not tell a lie
Like her unloved heart
A child was born
But no one knows about it.

I wrote this poem ages ago, but at the moment i'm going through a mood of mixed emotions, not really sure whats up or down at the moment. feeling kind of forgotten about. But then the reason for thi sudden emotion i don't know, why all of a sudden, i feel used and abandon. oh well, ill get over it i hope.

You will probably not understnad this blog, but your not ment to, your just ment to listen.